Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This house was built for laser tag.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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