we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
