my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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