i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
