about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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