addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
one might say we're banned from that church
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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