So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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