Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
