...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
