me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
