filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
