Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
