you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
