Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
