guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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