dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
