love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Semen is not good for contacts.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
