I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
