So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize