Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize