I need help removing her.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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