You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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