It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
