Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
