I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
