My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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