I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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