How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
