we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
