Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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