Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
