I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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