Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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