My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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