Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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