Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
