one two three fourrrrnication!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
