i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need water and some morals
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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