OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
