hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
