The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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