I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
