I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
