so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
this hospital has no fireball
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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