As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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