Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
