Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
