you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
