Will you blow on my dice?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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