i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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