woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
