weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize