I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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