What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
