I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
