i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize