I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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