Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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