Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize