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• (503): View more from Oregon

  We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?

  (509): View more from Washington

  Places.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Plural? Please tell.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.

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• (695): View more from

  it was like a congratulatory penis slap

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.

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