She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
