She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
