Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
