You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
