is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
