You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
