My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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