this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
