dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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