i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
