Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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