Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
