Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
