Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
