Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
