I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
